When I was in my twenties, I had no self-esteem. ZERO. I was skinny, beautiful, had graduated with an engineering degree, and I was totally sure that I was worthless and ugly. If I could go back, I would slap myself silly, AND get my young self some much needed counseling!
In my early thirties, I started to realize I wasn’t that bad. That I had value, was ok looking, and not completely dumb. I got counseling, my marriage got a much needed overhaul, and then I started having kids. THREE kids!(five pregnancies – 2 were miscarriages) My tummy and b**bies just aren’t the same.
Now I’m nearing OLD(ok 40 doesn’t seem so old all of the sudden). I am fat (ahem, “overweight”), got wrinkles and jowls starting, look permanently pregnant, and have traded all my engineering knowledge for basics from Seaseme Street. But, I’ve never felt more beautiful, felt more worth, or felt smarterest than I do now. It’s funny how the last twenty years I’ve learned so much about what really matters and how real beauty grows.
Still, even with all this newly birthed self empowerment, there is a part of me that wishes I had the stomach of a twenty something prekids. Vain? Yes, probably. Wrong? I don’t think so. At least I hope not since I just went to my first plastic surgeon consult this past week.
I’m pretty pumped about the prospect of no longer being asked, “When are you due?” Or not having to buy ultra lowrise jeans to accommodate my grody skin flap. How about not having an umbilical hernia and getting muscles sewn back together? Yipppeee!!! Oh, I’m excited just thinking about this! And let’s face it, I’m just plain excited about having a flat stomach and a belly button!!!
OLD? Yep. Belly button ring in my future? Definitely!