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Bringing your own child into the world can be nothing short of a miracle! All of a sudden, parents find out that they are no longer the most important people in their own lives – this teensy tiny baby is. There is so much more love, exhaustion, joy, and responsibility than we could have ever imagined!
When starting to hope to have children, there is a bunch to consider. But like my husband and I, and many before us, realized over time that there’s no way to prepare for everything. Like most endeavors, especially one of the most important of our lives, it is essential to prepare as best as possible for bringing home your baby! Preparing and being responsible ahead of time can help to enable us to enjoy the process with less worry and anxiety. Trust me, though, there will still be worry and anxiety but hopefully less than is you hadn’t prepared as much as possible.
In this post, I hope to dispel some of the common myths and beliefs that come with planning a family. And, of course, perhaps make you aware of some of the outcomes you could keep in mind depending on your situation:
Understanding Timelines
One of the most important things to remember is that preparing for a child is not always a linear, perfect process. My husband and I had not really committed to trying to have a baby until we were well into our marriage. So we had somewhat of an assumption that when we were ready that a stork would soon be delivering our bundle of joy in no time.
We were wrong.
Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it devastated my heart, broke his, and just about ended our marriage. By God’s grace our marriage was saved, we worked through many things that would have been better to figure out before getting pregnant, and survived. Then a year or so later, I became pregnant again. Praise the Lord!
Everything is not going to go exactly as planned when you start trying to conceive. Sure, you may decide that you wish to have a baby and check out the ovulation symptoms to make that more likely. It’s important to remember that some couples try for a while and have no luck, while others may find themselves expecting a new baby right away even if they hadn’t planned for it.
Financial Preparation
You will never have enough money before you have kids. And hopefully, after you have your kids you will realize money isn’t as important as love and joy in a household. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get your finances in order as best as possible but if you are waiting until you have a bazillion dollars in your bank account, you might be missing out on the joy of getting to have kids.
Financial preparation can make a world of difference when it comes to preparing for pregnancy and the eventual birth of your child. But if you think you should wait until you are completely financially stable, you are fooling yourself! Of course, it’s true that you can never be perfectly prepared unless you’re quite well off and have money to burn. Families who felt that they had everything in place only to be told they were expecting triplets is quite common. Amusing in how wonderful it is! I actually had a college sorority sister who in her later 20s got married and had triplets without fertility treatments. WOW!
To the degree we can, though, preparing financially is worthwhile(with or without kids in the picture). You may even consider starting a baby fund you can start putting money into for the raw essentials, asking for help from family members if it fits with your family dynamic
Essentials To Consider
There is a bunch of gear that a little tiny baby needs like car seats, strollers, a crib or bassinet, and teensy tiny clothes are essential. And formula, bottles, pacifiers, bath items, wipes, Boudreaux Butt Paste (lifesaver against diaper rash), and the diapers. So. Many Diapers. Plus you may also wish to prepare a baby room that they can sleep in undisturbed, alongside the baby monitors that help you check up on them without having to walk into the room 24/7. There are a myriad of articles and friends, coworkers, and family that can tell you the pros and cons of what to buy and which brands etc. Or research online for product ideas and needs.
Dealing With The Unexpected
All pregnancies are different, and certain unpredictable considerations may come up during the course of your term. For instance, some expectant mothers experience deep effects from pregnancy, such as morning sickness, strange food cravings, mood swings, and difficult sleep. If you ever ever ever are feeling any of the following symptoms, call your doctor right away and/or go to the doctor’s office or ER –
- Excess protein in your urine (proteinuria) or additional signs of kidney problems.
- Severe headaches.
- Changes in vision, including temporary loss of vision, blurred vision or light sensitivity.
- Upper abdominal pain, usually under your ribs on the right side.
- Nausea or vomiting.
- Decreased urine output
These types of symptoms can be a telltale sign that you might have preclampsia which is dangerous to you and your baby. And never never never hesitate to call your doctor for the above symptoms or any other symptoms you may be having. It is better safe than sorry!!!!! I lost a close friend to preclampsia and almost lost my sister as well. Always call you doctor if you have questions or are not feeling quite right.
Supportive Responsibilities
Before every becoming pregnant, it is nice to figure out if you will have help when the little bundle arrives. You probably know whether or not your parents would be available to help, or siblings and friends. And once you are pregnant, you can plan who will be driving you to the hospital or even to doctor’s visits in case your belly is too big to be able to drive. Yes, happened to me at the end of all my pregnancies!
Now is a great time to talk through your fears with a counselor, or just joining a pregnant moms group to discuss your weekly progress can make a major difference. I highly recommend M.O.P.S. Mom’s of Preschoolers is nationwide and a great way to get to meet other moms and get some great advice and a sanity break!
Keep in mind, you don’t need to feel upset or out of order in asking for the kind of help you need. Your body is creating a human being! WHAT?! So give yourself some grace and ask for help when you need it – even for help putting on socks and shoes. Yep, I couldn’t see my feet towards the end and sure enough couldn’t bend down to touch my toes!
Considering Birth Decisions
It’s a good idea to think of the kind of birth process you would like to go through with ahead of time. Of course, sometimes, this decision is made for you by the doctors should they need to enact a cesarean section – which sounds worrying on the surface but is actually a tremendously common and sometimes even life-saving procedure.
Some decide to have a birth as naturally as possible, some choose to do so in home water births aided by a medical professional, while others focus on going for the traditional, hospital-aided process. There are many reasons as to why you would choose one over the other, but if you have any specific needs or stipulations, it’s best to talk through them with your partner, family and medical contacts now so that the proper provisions can be made.
Care & Love
Pregnancy is one of the most important times of your life, and requires you to take care of yourself properly. Every minimal effort of caring for yourself at this time is also an effort in taking care of your baby. From eating correctly, taking your vitamins, getting enough sleep (to the degree that you can), and healthily dealing with your stress, the ability for you to remain realistic and responsible regarding your capabilities and priorities you have will help you reach full term in the best possible state.
With this advice, I hope it helps you feel like you have a more realistic view about responsibilities when thinking about having children.
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