”How You Can Stop Caring About What Others Think & Live The Life You Want” is a collaborative post and includes affiliate links. Please see the disclosure page for more information. Disclaimer – always verify medical information with your doctor or a professional and follow all laws for your location.
The way our minds work has such a huge impact as to how our lives pan out. We can have the physical capabilities, but our mental state plays probably the biggest part in how things go. If we’re not exactly doing great in our heads, then we’ll probably sit and stew on things. It is so much harder reach our potential, and we won’t get what we want in life. If we’re feeling confident and we don’t really give a darn about what people are thinking of us along the way, then that potential is more likely to be hit.
But that’s the issue, though, isn’t it?
We need to become confident and ignore what those around us feel, don’t we? We, of course, shouldn’t be completely self-centered. We shouldn’t completely disregard what people say, but a lot of outside opinions and actions never really matter, do they? Lots of people worry about what others think of them, and it’s such a sad sight at times. At the end of the day, when we’re no longer around, is it really going to matter what somebody said about you in 2015? Probably not. And will matter what somebody said to you in 2020? Especially not; this year has been so crazy!
It’s a case of making ourselves feel better intrinsically and avoiding the negative feelings that are attached from outside opinions. It’s not a case of completely avoiding them. Merely hearing those opinions while at the same time building a shield within us, however, is the key.
How can we possibly do that, though? Well, here are just a few ideas if you’re feeling a little self-conscious:
Understand That Outside Validation Is Endless
We all search for validation from other people at one time or another in this life. Some of us do it early on in life; some of us do it a little later when perhaps we should be old enough not to need positive outside opinions. At the end of the day, the need for validation from other people can be never-ending if you aren’t careful. It’s like a drug that satisfies you for a few minutes and then goes away. You end up wanting the good energy from someone you love or respect all of the time in order to feel a little better about yourself. You can probably think of a time where you’ve done this before, right? Once you realize you’ve grown dependent on the approval of others, you can start to change. It may take baby steps to do this such as first you need to realize in the moment when you are seeking approval from others. Next, remind yourself that the only person you have to prove yourself to is yourself. Like my mom has repeatedly quoted Shakespeare to me my whole life, “To thine own self be true.”
Set Goals & Pursue Them
In this life, you need to go ahead and do what YOU want if you’re to really shine. You are given a limited number of days on this planet and ultimately you get to decide how to spend those day.. When you set goals and have real ideas planned out over both the short-term and the long-term, it allows you to then focus solely your goal. There have been many studies that show that you need to physically write down your goals and see them on paper. Get a plan down and figure out what you really want – then do all you can to achieve the goals you set out. This will help you to focus specifically for a life you desire. It’s also a great time to pray about direction that would be best for your life and how you will use the time you are gifted each day.
Go Out On Dates
This might seem like quite a difficult step, but it’s just that first hurdle that needs jumping. If you’ve never been out on any kind of date before, then the hurdle feels a little bit bigger than normal, but that’s totally fine and natural. Hop on dating sites/apps or go ahead and speak to the person you’ve had a thing for – literally, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Life isn’t a movie or a sitcom where you get laughed at! Heading out for an evening and seeing someone can make you feel a lot better about yourself. Your social skills will improve, and you might make a great friend or maybe more than a friend. You also get a chance to see someone try to impress you, too, which is quite fun!
Already in a relationship? Then don’t stop dating that person. Now that my husband and I are almost 23 years into our marriage we see more than ever how important dates are! Going out for one-on-one uninterrupted date with the person I love is one of my favorite ways to spend time. Lately, we even have a date weekend once a year to the Texas Renaissance Festival and luckily there are campgrounds so it doesn’t cost too terribly much. Figure out something you both can enjoy and keep dating whether you’ve been together 2 years or 23+.
Become A More Competent Person Fundamentally
When you know how to handle yourself in this world, it just makes everything around you so much easier to deal with. It’s no coincidence that those who aren’t exactly domestically aware struggle with things like overall confidence.(me!) Make sure you can do things around the house and figure out how to do your weekly shopping. As an adult, these are pretty fundamental and should be able to be completed with ease. That is unless you get distracted by shiny obje… OOPs, distracted again. LOL Be sure to eat properly, too – possessing a healthy gut and happy insides makes your mind feel a lot better.
Speak To More People
We talked about heading out on dates, but just simply interacting with more humans on a daily or weekly basis will improve your mindset by many folds. When we stay in and avoid other people, our social skills just fade away, seemingly from existence. If we aren’t continually using social skills, then we’ll lose it. A prime example is the quarantine fashion of 2020 – yoga pants and stained tshirts! With this, our confidence also drops off. You don’t need to be the most charismatic person in the world, but the comfort of being around others helps a lot with our mental health. 2020 is proof of that!
Save Up Money For a Special Treat
Getting what you want in life is pretty important but don’t base your life on material things or your self esteem will take a nose dive at some point. Most people don’t think about material things all of the time, but they certainly can make us a happier person every now and again. When you have some money saved up specifically for something special, don’t be afraid to spoil yourself from time to time. This life is to be enjoyed, remember, so if it’s in your budget go ahead and bring in certain products and services! It doesn’t matter whether it’s some of that plus size clothing you’ve been looking at or a trip to Barbados – if you want it; get and get it. If you are being financially responsible, use some of your extra money or save up money for specific things you’ve been wanting to try out for a while.
Don’t Live Someone Else’s Version Of YOUR Life
When you don’t do what you want and, instead, do what is expected of you, you’re giving away your life. Remember how I mentioned about you are only given so many days in your entire life. Don’t squander them on what you think someone else expects you to do. You’re someone who has their own level of dominance in this world, and you absolutely don’t have to give in to anyone else. When you hide away and care too much about the opinions of others, you’ll then end up living someone else’s version of your life. That doesn’t sound too good, does it? It sounds horrifying. That’s some kind of mental prison, and it’s not what you deserve as an individual. Once you realize your burning through seconds, minutes, years of your life to please someone else, it’s very easy to change your ways of thinking!
When you experience an awful lot of this planet, you gain a different kind of perspective in life. At the moment, you probably view everything around you or everything in this country as the be-all and end-all. Seeing all kinds of things around the world will make you realize that there are so many other contentious life issues around and that you’re actually doing pretty well in this world. Also, travelling can be a pretty intense thing to do, so you’ll immediately come home as a more well-rounded and competent individual – thus, making you more confident overall.
The biggest thing about living the life you want is having self confidence. Evaluate what it is you are seeking in your life. And go after whatever it is you believe is your good purpose in the world.
If you are feeling down or depressed for more days than not, please seek medical attention. If you are feeling like you cannot go on, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat here>>> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Or visit the suicide prevention lifeline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/