If you are feeling down or depressed for more days than not, please seek medical attention.  If you are feeling like you cannot go on, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat here>>> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/  Or visit the suicide prevention lifeline  at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

I don’t generally blog about such heavy topics but with my dad passing away about a month ago from cancer I’m reflecting more on tough subjects. I am no expert in statistics, psychology, religions, or well anything!

But, I am a curious person.

This morning I was listening to a podcast while getting things done around the house. The topic of how community such as being a member of a church, synagogue, or mosque can help people feel they have an extended family. And with a family that loves us, we are possibly more likely to feel purpose and maybe less likely to commit suicide. This made me wonder if there is a correlation between church attendance and less suicide.

That made me even more curious about finding some statistics.

With a tad, itty bitty amount of research (aka Google), I started searching around the web about suicide rates and church attendance over the last several years.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health –  

• Suicide rates are based on the number of people who have died by suicide per 100,000 population. Because changes in population size are taken into account, rates allow for comparisons from one year to the next.
• Figure 1 shows age-adjusted suicide rates in the United States for each year from 1999 through 2018 for the total population, and for males and females presented separately.
  • During that 20-year period, the total suicide rate in the United States increased 35% from 10.5 per 100,000 in 1999 to 14.2 per 100,000 in 2018.
  • In 2018, the suicide rate among males was 3.7 times higher (22.8 per 100,000) than among females (6.2 per 100,000).

It is interesting that as our nation becomes more prosperous, people seem to be more and more despondent. Also people seem to have “lost their religion” over the last 20+ years like the old REM song hints to in a way. Church attendance and/or membership has been on the decline for several years now.  And article on Gallup.com March 2021, reveals that US church membership has dipped below the 50% majority for the first time.

• Americans’ membership in houses of worship continued to decline last year, dropping below 50% for the first time in Gallup’s eight-decade trend. In 2020, 47% of Americans said they belonged to a church, synagogue or mosque, down from 50% in 2018 and 70% in 1999.

I really believe there is a big correlation between these two statistics but this is just a limited amount of information so it is just an opinion. 

I believe that we need community. I believe that we need family. I believe we need purpose.

Nowadays, our best friends are our phones, TV, social media, and games. Try a short term experiment in your life and track how much time you spend on these things versus how much time you spend talking with friends and family, eating, chores, work, sleep, etc. It might surprise you. 

Without community and a feeling of being part of a group that cares for you and you for the group, a person can become dismayed in life. We compare our lives with the media we are consuming instead of reality. With community, aka IRL “in real life” living, a person is more likely to find people that they might talk with or feel cared for. When a person feels listened to, they might be more able to work through emotions and feelings and possibly more likely to get help or find a new perspective.

I’m not saying this always keeps people from suicide. I’ve heard stories of a wife having a nice conversation with her husband in a kitchen one minute and then him going on the back porch the next and killing himself. It’s such a sad situation for all involved with so many unanswered questions and lots of “what ifs”  or “I should have realized” thoughts. Suicide never makes sense to anyone that is left behind but for the person facing those feelings that push them to the brink; suicide seems like a respite in a world devoid of any comfort. I know that because I’ve been there like so many others.

Below is a figure showing a study by the National Institute for Mental Health. I’m not sure how they conducted the study but I would bet a million dollars that the number of people that had serious thoughts of suicide are greatly underestimated just from my experience with these thoughts plus friends and family that have confided in me about having these thoughts. 

If you are or have had these thoughts, #1 please do not follow through and #2 you must get help from a professional. And if that person doesn’t help, keep looking and trying until someone does. It took a friend of mine several doctors before she found someone that would even just listen to her and thankfully a physician’s assistant took her seriously. I almost lost her because some people are so callus to helping people with mental illness but willingly take your money and try to help a person with physical illness. Grrrrr! Ok, rant over, just please please please get help. <<<Click that link for help!<<<

Ok back to my curiosity regarding a link between less suicide with church attendance….

Unfortunately, going to a church, synagogue, or mosque doesn’t make people 100% less likely to take their own life. In my 20s, I was very suicidal and suffering but I was also going to church each Sunday to kind of check off a box in my mind. I didn’t engage with others much and I was a drunk during the week and weekends. Then I got sober, we started a family and I was still silently struggling. My husband would be at work, my babies would be napping or just playing, and I would go in our bedroom and ugly cry and try to think of ways to off myself. Finally, I broke down and begged my husband to change the combo on the gun safe. For some reason (guessing the prayers from my momma and God watching over me), I never went through with it even though there were many time I had a gun in my mouth with finger on the trigger. Maybe just going to church each Sunday helped me to not go through with it somehow. Finally, I sought help from my OB/GYN after hearing a prominent pastor’s wife talking to a group of mother’s of preschoolers and talked about her battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. Obviously, don’t get me wrong, depression is prevalent inside religious buildings as well as outside them.

I don’t want you, dear reader, to be misled that church alone stopped me from going through with it. Sadly, there are plenty of people that are members of religious organizations that commit suicide each year. But this article is  a comparison the statistics of the increase rates of suicide and the decrease rates of church/synagogue/mosque membership in the last 20 years and how while church membership goes down and suicide rates go up. Makes one wonder about if this is a correlation or not.

In 1999 70% of the US said they were members and in 2020 only 47%, that’s a 23% drop. Suicides rose 35% between 1999 and 2018.

Feeling all alone in this big world is rough. Despair can quickly feel the empty void that takes over our hearts and minds. Lies and negativity are quick to take root in our head. That’s why I believe that being part of a group that looks out for its members, helps each other, and cares for each other can make such a difference in a person’s life. Being part of a religious organization (and particularly for me Christianity) can change your heart and soul. It can hopefully help you to not pull the trigger as you find there is much more to life than what you are suffering through. These statistics really make me think there is a correlation between church attendance and less suicide.

There is light and life at the end of the dark tunnel that seems to be consuming you. Suicide is not the path you need. You need help. You need understanding and relief. I get it; I really do.  Please reach out to get help if you are feeling suicidal or depressed.

Because I’ve been through it in silence, like many others, I have started adding this to the end of almost every article I post the last couple years… If you are feeling down or depressed for more days than not, please seek medical attention.  If you are feeling like you cannot go on, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat here>>> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/  Or visit the suicide prevention lifeline  at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Please please please seek help. If the above options don’t help, call a mental health professional. If they don’t help call another mental health professional. Reach out to a friend that you trust (they may not know how to help but they might be willing to listen). If they aren’t willing to listen then contact local church and tell them you feel suicidal and need help. Don’t give up. You might have to try several different ways to get help but please seek help.  If you need someone to talk with, drop me a comment below or email at simplestepsforlivinglife at gmail.com 

Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

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If you are feeling down or depressed for more days than not, please seek medical attention.  If you are feeling like you cannot go on, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat here>>> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/  Or visit the suicide prevention lifeline  at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/