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Long-distance relationships are becoming more and more common. For some, it’s hard to imagine a relationship without seeing your partner every day but you can survive a long distance relationship. Almost half of our 24 year marriage has been apart during the weekdays. It was very hard during our 20s and we almost got divorced. But as I have gotten older, it is kind of nice to be able to do whatever I want within the boundaries of our marriage, when I want, without considering someone else. Sounds terrible, but I know my husband loves me and is working hard so our family can have such a comfortable, nice life. Plus, I don’t have to share the remote! LOL
Whether you’re going away for school or work, or if your partner lives in another city, there are many ways to keep the romance alive when you’re miles apart from each other. Please keep reading to learn how to stay connected with a long-distance relationship so that it doesn’t feel like you are far away from your partner.
Communicate Regularly
Both of you need to communicate regularly during your long-distance relationship. There will be times when one person feels lonely, and the other doesn’t know about it – unless they’re told. Usually, lonely people don’t tell others when they are sad. Agree upon a way to check in with each other and how often to make sure you both still cared for in the relationship. Some people think chatting once a week is enough while others want to hear their partner’s voice once a day at the very least. If you don’t discuss this ahead of time, one person might feel slighted and the other person might feel like they are being stalked.
Be sure that you tell each other how you feel, what’s going on in your life, and if any significant changes are coming up (like a move or change in jobs or location etc). In addition, it would help if you shared your simple day-to-day activities, like how work is going or hobbies or what your doing for lunch or dinner. Just chit chatting able simple things that make up a life is nice to share with someone you love. My parents where apart with my dad being a traveling salesman way back before cell phones. I can remember them chatting on the phone only once or twice a week while he was on the road. They made it work because they shared daily tidbits about what all had happened even things like seeing a certain bird while driving down the road or my mom making cookies with my sisters and me. Like my parents always said, “It’s the little things in life.“
Be Understanding When it comes to Technology
There’s no question that people rely on their phones way too much nowadays. But in long-distance relationships (especially those between college students), it can be your lifeline to one another.
You might feel like you’re constantly on the phone with each other, but sometimes that’s just what you need when you miss them so much. Just remember that long-distance relationships are complicated for both people involved. Try not to take out any of your stressed out feelings on your partner – after all, they’re doing their best to make it work, too.
Visit Each Other as Often as Possible
The best way to make a long-distance relationship feel not-so-far is to visit each other as often as possible. You don’t necessarily have to take big trips – in fact, that might be harder on your bank account. Instead, try to find weekends when you can drive or fly out to see each other for a day or two. You can also apply for a fiancé visa to bring your partner permanently to where you are living. This is a HUGE commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. In some cultures this is a big NO-NO before marriage so you might have to find your partner a place to live such as a relatives home until you tie the knot.
Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself, too.
It’s easy for relationships to become all about the other person – but that’s not healthy in a long-distance relationship (or any kind). Instead, make sure you’re taking time out just for yourself. Don’t give up hanging out with friends or going to events just because your partner isn’t with you and don’t expect them to stop their life completely either just because you are not there. When your partner gets to visit again, you’ll still be excited to see them. Hang out with your friends, do something you love (like reading or painting), and make time for yourself every day.
Avoid Jealousy
One of the biggest killers of long-distance relationships is jealousy. It can be hard not to feel a little bit left out when your partner is telling you all about their day. Maybe all they did was work or study, or maybe they went to the gym with their friends. And it’s great that they can be happy without you sometimes; otherwise, you’ll start feeling responsible for helping them be happy wherever they are which is ridiculous. The only actions, feelings, and emotions you are responsible for are your own. And the only actions, feelings, and emotions your partner is responsible is for their own. So set the boundaries you are both comfortable with being in the relationship and if someone steps out of those boundaries, the other partner has a right to be upset and/or jealous. Otherwise, avoid jealousy by having boundaries you both agree upon. PS Do that in a text message so if one of you forget what you agreed on later you can both remind each other what the boundaries of your relationship can stand on.
To survive a long distance relationship is hard work, but they can be successful with effort from both people involved. Just remember to communicate regularly, visit each other as often as possible, and take care of yourself.
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