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Not every relationship can go the distance. While many start out promising, there’s a reason why the divorce rate remains so high. There are a million reasons why a relationship can break down, but at some point in your life, it’s possible that you’ll find someone with whom you might have many years of happiness. Of course, the true test of a relationship is time, but there are some telltale signs that can suggest that you’re onto something good.
Let’s take a look at what they are.
You Decided To Stay Together Every Day
That’s right, every day you wake up, you will either be wanting to stay together, not sure, or not want to. Every day of life, you will make mundane decisions that won’t affect your relationship and you will also make decisions that will affect everything in your future. Some days you will want to run far away; some days you will just want to cuddle up with the love of your life. In a long term relationship, staying together means you are making conscious decisions each day that will keep it going.
You Have Excellent Communication
Oh, communicating in a relationship is not always trouble-free. It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is going smoothly. But when things go wrong, and you encounter problems? It’s another matter. The presence of issues isn’t the problem. It’s how you deal with those bumps in the road that determine whether you can go the distance. If every argument is an all-out drama, then it’s possible that things will blow up at some stage. But if you’re able to communicate well, and listen to what your partner has to say without getting angry or annoyed, then you’ll be able to overcome anything. Sometimes if you hit a big enough pothole in the road of life, you might want to speak with a counselor or professional and both learn tools to improve your communications.
You Talk About The Future
When a relationship starts, people generally don’t make plans for any further than a couple of months down the line. But if the relationship progresses, then the distance into the future that you look will become greater. It’ll also become more significant. You might discuss marriage. You might visit www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings and look at engagement rings. You may even consider having children. These conversations can start small, but if they become more serious possibilities, then there’s no telling where your relationship might end up taking you both.
You Have Clear Boundaries
One of the best things for our 23+ marriage has been talking about and agreeing on boundaries. This might mean you’ll need to talk with each other when purchasing something over a certain amount. Or it might mean boundaries when spending time with the opposite sex. It might mean deciding who is going to take care of what in the home such as cleaning and chores. Or it might just mean addressing pet peeves that you each have and how to avoid them. You and your partner get to decide your boundaries but it is so important to discuss and agree on what they should be.
You Forgive Each Other Every Day
One of my favorite advice that I’ve ever been given is this – “You will have to forgive your spouse every day for not being perfect.” That still cracks me up but is sooo true. We suppose our partners will act a certain way, say a particular thing, do things this way or that. Guess what? No one is perfect. And our sense of perfection is just an opinion and we also are not perfect. Hopefully, your love will be as equally forgiving that you are not perfect as well!
Some of the most painful hurts are from the people we love the most. Forgiveness is key in any long term relationship. But don’t confuse forgiveness by adding allowing yourself to be someone else’s doormat. And don’t think that forgiveness equals you fixing your partner’s flaws. This all goes back to agreeing on boundaries. Also, forgiveness doesn’t mean bringing up past hurts over and over again. You either have let go of the hurt or not; and if you haven’t decided to let go of the hurt, then speak to your partner and/or a professional about the situation.
You Have Fun Together
Most relationships start out as fun. But over time, those exciting beginning of relationship good times can be less frequent. It can feel like you don’t really have as much fun as you used to because well life! Those relationships typically have an end point (if the fun dies down within the six month mark). But if you inherently enjoy each other’s company, and it seems like you’re having a fun and positive time no matter what you’re doing, then that’s a good indicator that you’ll go the distance. A couple that has fun together stays together!
You Enjoy Their Friends/Family
You’re not going to create a whole world with just one person. You’ll also need to accept the broader aspects of their life, such as their friends and family. They’re a big part of your partner’s life after all! If you’re accepted into the friend group or you have a great relationship with their family, then that will help with the longevity of the relationship!
It Ticks a Lot of Boxes
Finally, if the relationship ticks a lot of the boxes you look for in a relationship, then your days of searching may be over. We all have different criteria. If your partner has all, or most, of them, then you’ll have a multilayered, valuable relationship worth holding on to.
Life is full of ups and downs. Being in a healthy relationship while on the crazy rollercoaster can make such a big difference.
Ecclesiastes 4
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
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If you are feeling down or depressed for more days than not, please seek medical attention. If you are feeling like you cannot go on, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat here>>> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Or visit the suicide prevention lifeline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
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